so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
