I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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