in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
