You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
