Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
