talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
