she was so not down for the gang bang
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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