wrigley field is MILF paradise
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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