i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
