my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize