Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
This house was built for laser tag.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
