just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So much Jack, so little girl.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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