? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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