if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
