Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
