How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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