To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
