turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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