I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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