your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
