Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
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