What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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