Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
