she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
This couple is walking their pig around campus
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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