I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
