So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
