everyone is single if you try hard enough
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think your dad took our porno
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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