if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
wat bout pragnant strippers??
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize