I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
