is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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