Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize