You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
