her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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