Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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