I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
