your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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