cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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