ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
