Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
