I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
