Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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