Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
