remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
This house was built for laser tag.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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