id be glad to
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
