take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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