At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
