Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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