Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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