All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
