Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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