Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
