he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
