I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize