just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
