Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i need some magic done to my vagina
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
