We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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