ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
