im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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