Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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