Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
