Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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