im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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