This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i believe in u and ur pee
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
